Once upon a time, there was a land far, far away called the Kingdom of Thea. It was a prosperous land with green pastures, running streams, and lots of milk and honey. It was ruled by a mighty and powerful king named Yohevech. Now, Yohevech was a jealous king and didn't like anyone to acknowledge that in other areas of the world that there were other countries with other kings who ruled over other people. He wanted everyone to acknowledge himself as the one true King and nobody else. So he told his press secretary, a man named Monte Silas, to come up with a propaganda campaign against the other kings. Monte declared that all other kings were "false" kings and that people of other kingdoms really ought to be swearing fealty to Yohevech.
Under Yohevech's rule, the land's prosperity began to falter. The green pastures became sandy deserts. The rivers ran dry. The milk and honey became distant memories. And so King Yohevech's popularity began to wane. The citizens grew restless. Many began to say "King Lou in the north has lands that prosper" and "King Siv in the East truly cares for his people". So King Yohevech, instead of answering the pleas of his people, contacted his attorney general, Anton Levit, to come up with a very rigid set of legal codes to keep the grumbling population in check. In fact, Levit created over 600 new laws and most of those laws had the death penalty as a consequence.
"I am your King," Yohevech declared in a press release given to Anton Levit to read. "You shall have no other Kings before me. I hereby declare that any who transgress the law shall die!"
Now, nobody had actually seen King Yohevech in decades. Indeed, there were some who even started saying that there was no such thing as a "King" and that Kings were just fary tales. Indeed, the disbelievers started saying that the law enforcers were the real power, not the King, and that the law enforcers wielded their authority by inspiring fear of Kingly retribution. Of course, the King's law enforcers did actually begin killing people who either denied the King's existence, swore fealty to another King, or who broke even the most trivial of laws.
Of course, the King couldn't have everyone killed. After all, if you kill your entire population, who will you rule? So the King came up with a clever scheme in which he demanded that the citizens give their livestock to the law enforcers as a means of getting amnesty for breaking the law. This policy made a lot of people very poor while making the law enforcers very rich (for the law enforcers would simply turn around and sell the meat at the markets for a handsome profit!) This state of affairs went on for many decades. The King never made public appearances but instead spoke only through the chief of police, the attorney general, or the press secretary.
What the citizens of the Kingdom of Thea didn't know for the longest time was that King had a son out of wedlock. The son, named Jessie, had been raised by his mother and stepfather for most of his life, and had no physical contact with the King since birth. However, he was the King's son nonetheless. Being raised in the real community and not in the hallowed halls of the law enforcers, Jessie saw firsthand how the King's policies had ruined the land, enslaved the people, and brought misery to everyone who was not a law enforcer. It was rumored that the King's illegitimate son had studied in the east where King Siv ruled, but nobody knew for sure. Likewise, some said that Jessie was celebate, while others said he was married. A few even said he had a partner of the same gender. What was certain, however, was that Jessie's attitude towards the citizenry was vastly different than his father's.
Jessie began his own political movement that was in opposition to his father's. Jessie declared that the rich should be generous to the poor; that judges should hold themselves to the same standard that they held others; that citizens should forgive one another instead of seeking retaliation. Likewise, he publicly declared that the law enforcers (especially the ones who claimed to speak on behalf of the King) were "broods of vipers". He had open antipathy towards the King's law enforcers when they would seek to assist the wealthy while stepping on the poor -- especially widows and orphans.
Now, King Yohevech could see the writing on the wall. Here was his bastard son he had forgotten about, who had been raised by a commoner and her blue-collar husband who had scrimped and saved to give Jessie a solid, liberal arts education. Jessie was younger, more popular, and really identified with the common citizen. So, what's a greedy, paranoid, power-mad, absentee King to do? Well, the chief of police for the law enforcers had an idea that the King really liked.
The chief of police, with the King's approval, declared that Jessie was guilty of treason. So the law enforcers captured the King's son, tacked on a list of trumped-up charges, and had him executed without even any formal appeals process.
This action, of course, made Yohevech pretty unpopular. So once again, he called upon his best propaganda spin doctors in media relations to come to his aid. Through his media outlets (again, nobody had actually seen the King in person in decades and a growing number of people outright denied the existence of the King), Yohevech declared that he loved his people so much that he had his own son executed on trumped-up charges just so that the King would somehow have the power to grant amnesty to the citizens for breaking the law. Somehow, through the murder of his own son, the King said that the citizens would be shown a new era of mercy and forgiveness.
There was a catch: to continue avoiding the death penalty for offenses like speeding, trespassing, and parking violations, the citizenry would have to acknowledge that King Yohevech was the only "real" King on the planet and that one had to also praise Jessie for his sacrifice (even though he was murdered, not sacrificed). Yohevech said it was still permitted to kill followers of King Siv, King Lou, King Bud, and any others who followed another King.
Of course, King Yohevech still didn't do anything good for his people. The Kingdom continued to deteriorate. An invading army captured most of the citizens and burned them alive in huge death factories while King Yohevech did nothing -- and hid from a place of safety. Later, after the war ended, his press liaison declared that the reason why the massacre happened was because the citizens didn't believe in Jessie with enough sincerity (rather than the truth, which was that King Yohevech was either unwilling or unable to help his own people).
The law enforcers of the King, however, did prosper. Rather than taking livestock from the people, they now only took cash. The law enforcers lived happily ever after in huge mansions and had bank accounts filled with money. (And still nobody has seen the King in person. And more and more people every day think the King is a made-up fairy tale!)
And that is the story of the Kingdom of Thea.
To those who would read this story, I might ask: Would you say that the King of Thea is just, good, kind, and loving? Does this story remind you of a tale from another book?
ahhh, so that's how it all happened!
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