The Modern Job Interview. Blech.

So... I applied for a job at Parole & Probation. I've been on job interviews before. I'm usually pretty good at them. For the job I currently have, I was able to successfully draw a reasonable comparison between running a credit check and a criminal background check. But that was before the "modern" era in hiring where you have to be under 30 years old and already know how to do the job.

To get an interview out of P&P, I had to let them look at my criminal, credit, and medical record. I didn't think I had anything to hide. Oh, how wrong I was!

Here's how this really humiliating interview went:

Interviewer: "So, you're 41 years old?" (Said with a sneer. The interviewer looked to be about 28 or so).
Me: "Yes, that is so."
Interviewer: "I see" (said with a distinct frown).

Interviewer: "You missed a car payment in 2006."
Me: "That is so. I haven't missed any since."

Interviewer: "You have a heart condition?"
Me: "Yes. But I have not missed one day of work in five years."

Interviewer: "You were suspended from school once?"
Me: "Yes. I was 13. And I was stupid back then."

Interviewer: "Have you EVER drank alcohol?"
Me: "I have."
Interviewer: "I see. So you're a drinker."
Me: "I do not thinking averaging one mixed drink per month constitutes being a 'drinker'."
The interviewer did not reply, but scribbled notes for a while.

Interviewer: "That's all. Thanks for coming."

Yeah. I'm not counting on getting this job. Apparently the Department of Parole & Probation is looking for 30-year-olds with perfect 800 credit, perfect health, no alcohol use EVER, and no teenage disciplinary problems. Oh, and the candidate has to know how to do the job already. What a laugh.

I guess it's a good thing I am good at my current job.